The “ME” We Wish for Others to See
#Storytime
I had a moment when my insecurities took over. My husband posted a picture of us that I honestly HATE, though it’s one of his favorites. Although my heart and attitude wanted him to take it down, the Holy Spirit gave me a quick reminder: ‘if he likes it, then that’s all that matters.”
The truth is, this picture reminds me of my heaviest weight and my body before working out. I lacked confidence during this time, and when looking at the picture, I immediately tore myself into shreds because of what I saw about myself. If I were to be fully transparent, I wanted him to take it down because I didn’t want others to shred me either. I felt the picture didn’t represent me as my best self, or at least the version of me I don’t mind people seeing.
Although I still hate the picture (lol), I was reminded of how different I look from someone else’s lens. I captured insecurities within myself while looking at a photograph. Meanwhile, my husband is seeing something completely different. When my husband sees the photograph, he is capturing my pose, the little things he loves about his wife, and what he sees. Not to mention the memories that it conjures up. The way that he captures me is completely different from how I see myself. Which is why when the Holy Spirit checked me, it pierced my insecurities. The Lord’s reminder that just because Kevonna can think of herself in an offensive way doesn’t mean Heaven nor her husband has to be subject to the same view. In fact, her insecurities don't dictate how she is loved, seen, heard, or even admired by the One who loves her most.
Just because we have an image of ourselves that we prefer because of the influence of social media, doesn’t change the reality of how we are truly seen in the eyes of the One who created us. I believed the Lord allowed Sim to be that reminder. So, I come to be that reminder too. I once read a quote that said, “We are so used to our features that we don’t know how beautiful we are to strangers,” and I believe it holds the truth. Now, don’t get me wrong, I AM NOT AN ADVOCATE for posting pictures of folks, and you know we don’t look good as a unit! What I am saying, when our internal struggles distort the truth of how we should really capture ourselves, lean on to what the Lord says about you. Allow what He says to you, carry you through ﹣until you believe the truth.
But before I end today’s blog post, let’s talk about capturing internal struggles. One of the things I see in girlhood is us evolving, transforming our bodies, elevating our style in fashion, and letting our skin be on glow. We are reading, traveling, getting degrees, and all the things that signify girl therapy. Incredible, ﹣but some of us struggle with capturing a better version of ourselves, and not for likes. Just genuinely wanting to see a healthy version of ourselves, yet what we are capturing is more insecurities instead of the growth.
If you have some gems for us, let us know your thoughts in the comments!
What are some wisdom tips you find to be helpful for building confidence?
What fashion advice can you give the girlies for building/finding their style?
Where are you girls going for solo dates ﹣ if that’s your thing?
TO THE READER
I pray this blog post finds you well. Further, I genuinely pray over the inner struggles we have with capturing how we see ourselves. I do pray that the Lord continues to do a deep work of confidence within us. That our self-esteem is constantly maturing. That we don’t capture ourselves in one highlight of our lives, but we mature in Christ by way of learning Him. In return, we learn who we are. That the ‘ME’ we say we are, truly reflects the way Jesus sees and cares for us.
... we need to dive more into this topic over a picnic while making flower bouquets!
Love, Kevonna 🌻
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